Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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