I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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