She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
