She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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