He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
