its not stalking. its research.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
