yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
