OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
