I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just high enough for therapy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
