The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the day after is always just damage control
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
