You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
