We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
