Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
