I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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