physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
