Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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