Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
