maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
