I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
