Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
