Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
