On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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