Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
