At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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