First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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