Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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