Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
