I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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