Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
