would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Still dying that you shit outside
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
did i just pee glitter
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
