stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
