Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
