it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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