Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
