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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've blown a few things in my day
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
