I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
