I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
