Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
someone owes me an orgasm
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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