i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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