I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
