hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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