Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
