New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
