We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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