Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
