i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
