um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
