I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The air was thick with penises
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
