Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
