he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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