let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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