if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
