She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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