there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
